Island Fossils

My friends and I are all getting older, and when we get together talk usually turns to  planning for the inevitable day when we shouldn’t live alone. We have strategies that range from sucking up to children or various nieces and nephews to sizing up which friends to room with a’la the Golden Girls or the Odd Couple. I’ve had my own idea, one that I’ve daydreamed about off and on for years. (Those of you whose veins bulge at mere talk of hippie socialist stuff should switch to another blog right now) I want to create a commune for us old hippies. We’d pool our resources to purchase a property where we’d live collectively. People would live in tiny houses or yurts or whatever would be practical and accessible. We would invite young people live with us. The young people would live in our commune rent free in exchange for transporting  us, schlepping stuff and helping with chores. We old fossils would be able to pursue our hobbies and interests, cook and clean for each other and generally exist in harmony until we croaked. I could go on about my Senior Citizen Commune, but that’s not what this post is about.You need some of my backstory because the real story is that I found the perfect property for my commune!

When we were paddling around Sant Joseph Bay, we noticed an island not too far off the main shore. From a distance the island looked deserted. After an hour of paddling, features of the island came into view, and we realized there were buildings on the island. Not just any buildings, but lots of individual cottages on proper piling to keep them above the storm surge. It turns out we were at Black’s Island. A few short years ago it was a bustling resort that fell victim to the economic downturn, and the facility sits deserted. The island itself is lovely, but it’s not situated in an area that would attract the kind of tourists to make the place a Must Do Destination, so I doubt it’s going to attract big investors but it is fancy. It has a pool. A restaurant. It even has a golf course, for Pete’s sake. Boat channels. A beach on all sides. A couple of cannons are perched at either end of the beach; I suppose if it came down to it we could even mount a defense against pirates.

The island is sheltered by Cape San Blas, so it would have some shelter from a direct hurricane hit, and we certainly could have a bug out disaster plan in place to schlep all us feeble elders to dry land. Not only that, but we could recruit college students majoring in gerontology and physical therapy to work off their student loans at our commune. I’ll bet we can get a grant for something like that. I read that Black’s Island is a prime sea turtle breeding ground. Let me ask you friends; would you rather have a corporation make the island a spring break destination plagued by jet-skiing jello-shot eating marauders, or would you prefer it to be managed by a bunch of old Mother Earth News tie-dye tree-hugging hippies? I rest my case.

Presently Black’s Island is up for sale for $48M. That may seem steep, but I’m thinking that a Go Fund Me campaign and the promise of harmless old people stewarding turtles on the beach just might inspire people to give. After all, if 48 million people donated $1.00 each, we’d be communing before you can say Bob’s Your Uncle. I bet we could get those cute Property Brothers guys to help renovate. Who’s with me?